Holding Me Back

A poem about how noticing the negatives can stop you from living a fulfilled life

I woke up before my alarm today
Having barely slept a wink
And clambered my hands to clasp my phone
Before my eyes could even blink

To note down all of my health defects
Holding me back from running free
Onto a plane of greater understanding
As the person I long to be

One whose mind won’t binge on their body
Nor be haunted by distant screams
One who doesn’t wake to wonder
But who sleeps to enjoy their dreams

My therapist told me I see my life
Through a wide distorted lens
Full of unconditional judgement
To which I fail to make amends

Resolve is a manifestation
That comes when all falls into place
Once I’ve done my best to heal myself
And accept this transient fall from grace

I stare in stillness at my phone screen
And into the faces of my foes
Knowing to cure but a few of them
Would cast aside my solemn woes

If I could overcome them all
Tick the list off one by one
Maybe then will I finally feel
That my life has truly begun.

© Rose Butcher, 2021. All rights reserved.

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