Creative Forces Versus Depression

By Matt James

As a creative person I like to make. This includes music, words, drawings and performances. I also, like many others, suffer from depression. I have found over time that creating can induce a euphoria or a dysphoria. So much so, that I have taken extended hiatuses to avoid the high peaks and low troughs, the criticism, the plaudits, the support and the lack of it. It has taken me many years to come to a point where I can turn to a reasonable set of parameters that allow me to be creative on my own terms.

Below is a list (non exclusive) of the crucial qualities that help me through those dark days, when, through a crisis of confidence, any of us could stop our projects through apathy, lack of belief and self doubt.

A few years ago I accepted a challenge called ‘The 20 Song Challenge’. 20 songs, one day. I created almost the requisite number of pieces (17) but only completed 2 whole songs. I sat back listening to these monstrous creations. I felt disappointed that I had not completed the challenge and that most of the pieces were fairly anodyne sketches of 1–2 minute duration. It was pointed out to me by a significant other that although I did not complete the 20 songs, I had completed two whole songs from root to branch with full arrangements. For me, this was an achievement I had not managed for over two years.

Finally, don’t forget to dance and sing. It can only be a good thing.

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